6:15 p.m. to 12 Midnight, Saturday, December 2.? Only date available.? We have 15 seats reserved. Members get first priority. Must be 16 years of age. We cannot wear any clothing endorsing a political candidate. However, we can wear our club t-shirts. They love the design!
? ? ? ? ? Members present:? Mike K, Shamara G, Cristina L, and Jessica E
Abortion. The very word sparks controversy. Friends, siblings, parent and child all can argue for what seems like hours on end over such a simple word. Strong emotions swell on both sides. Tempers flare. Prides butt heads. Tears flow. It’s ridiculous how easy some get carried away by one word.
I have this fantasy where I’m in a parking lot in my car with the doors securely locked, and outside stand a radically “pro-life” Baptist pastor and, facing him, a staunch “pro-choice” women’s rights activist. In my fantasy, I crack my window enough to just stick my mouth out the top and cry at the top of my lungs a single word, “Abortion!!!” Let the games begin. I might keep the battle fiery by adding some spice here and there. “Pastor! She called your mother a whore!” To this ingeniously conceived comment I might add, “Women’s rights activist! Pastor told me that women are inherently of the devil, and only their own stupidity gives them an excuse for giving in to his temptations!” Snappy, eh? Believe it or not, I have a point.
As much as I would enjoy the aforementioned brawl, I have come up with a simple solution to the debate that has raged for years in our beloved nation. Yes, I, the infamous Man on the Streets, have come up with a solution to the problem that has had men at least 12,000 times more intelligent than me scratching their heads. I’ve looked at it from both sides, as a Catholic and as a ladies man. Kidding. I realize it is impossible for someone such as I, by which I mean someone with balls, to even begin to fathom what it is to be pregnant. In all seriousness, however, I can see the horrific inhumanness with which young or unmarried pregnant women are treated. Girls are abandoned by their lovers, labeled whores, even disowned by their families (God help them) for being pregnant. It saddens me immensely to picture what they’re faced with when placed in such a situation. A drowning feeling immediately comes to mind. I imagine sinking into icy water, neck outstretched, lips searching for the smallest taste of fresh air, arms and legs flailing wildly, searching for something, anything with which to pull myself above the surface; my entire body yearning with its every muscle and tendon to fill the lungs with sweet air.
Women who stick pregnancies out, alone or otherwise, are saints in my book. The very thought of a live baby pushing through any hole in my body, to be completely honest, gives me the willies. And I don’t use that term lightly. On the flip side, scientists right now for the most part agree that life begins at conception. If this is indeed accepted, then one cannot deny that abortion would, hypothetically (in this situation), be the taking of a human life. At any rate, most would agree that abortion is bad, “not good” at best. Even if the woman has not a single regret, she would usually agree that the procedure was extremely unpleasant and painful. A truly unwanted pregnancy can have only a few results. Either the? woman has the baby and keeps it or puts it up for adoption, or she gets an abortion.
I came up with an idea that would cut down on abortions (perhaps eventually eliminating them) while at the same time attempting (to the best of my ability) to make an unwanted pregnancy easier for women. Here goes. When a woman becomes pregnant, if the father is unknown or refuses to give the woman the support she needs and deserves, she has the option to have a free DNA test performed on the baby. I’m not sure of the logistics of this, but bear with me. The real father would then be bound by law to provide child-support money for the woman. What if the father is unemployed, you ask? Ha! Here’s one the Republicans will surely treat with certain disdain. The federal government would in that case make the payments (I think a certain portion of the father’s welfare should be tacked on to the woman’s check as well).
My idea is multi-faceted, my friends. The federal government, according to my idea, would employ qualified personal psychologists for all women who get abortions to help them deal with any post-procedure depression. A national support group for women dealing with abortions/unwanted pregnancies should also be set up. This group would be set up and run by women, and should also receive some money from the government to help set up more hotlines, web sites, etc. Also, though I admit it is somewhat idealistic, I think it would be awesome if the organization could set up comfortable group housing for younger women abandoned by their families because of an unwanted pregnancy. The housing would be easily affordable, but also set up in safe neighborhoods, kept up well (thanks to some federal funding), and run exclusively by women. Women who would have trouble paying for it would be helped, so that no woman who needed to wouldn’t be able to live in such a place. Though it would cost much money, I think that there would be a lot of private donations made to the group. Also, members who have, since joining, settled and stabilized themselves could provide excellent support for other women who experience the same things the aforementioned members already went through. I think that such a support group would not only be great for the poor countless women suffering under the burden of a pregnancy or recovering from the depression caused by an abortion or adoption, but also help reduce abortions drastically. No woman should be left alone to deal with what countless women are currently going through, and this organization would ensure that no woman did. It’s still just an idea, but it’s an idea that I think at least tries to reconcile both sides of the abortion issue.
Think my idea’s a load of crock? Got a way better one? Did you think it’s the greatest idea since Dr. Pepper? Or are you an attractive young woman looking to hook up with the Young Democrat of S.C. voted “most mind-blowingly attractive?” Email me at luke13@prodigy.net
Luke Coughlan
Man on the Streets
I knew there was a reason why I have always loved the Garden State.? That reason became blatantly clear last week when the New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that denying gays the right to civil unions violated the New Jersey Contitution.? I think I speak for all of us when I say HELL YES NEW JERSEY.
By ruling in favor of civil unions, the New Jersey Supreme Court leaves the state legislatue with no choice but to act.? One way or another, homosexuals will have the right to civil unions in the state of New Jersey very soon.? The judges of that court deserve applause for reading the constitiution accurately and not allowing any personal bias to act on their ruling.
Now I would like to ask why allowing gays to get married would be such a big deal.? People are always claiming that? gay? mariiage? would destroy the sanctity of marriage.? Personally I think? the fact that? half of all American marriages end in divorce desanctifies marriage enough.? How will? allowing two? men? or two? women to marry do any more damage than what has already been done?? Also,? if people? do not want them to marry, why not legalize civil unions nationally?? ? There is no way that it would hurt any non-gays to allow homosexuals the same priveleges that all other Americans receive.? Just once I wish that? all Americans would act as the New Jersey Supreme Court has acted and put aside all? homophobia and allow others to live as they want to live? in freedom.
From the brilliant? mind? of Mike Kean, your friendly Sargeant at? Arms.?
Nicole Williams, President
A lot of people have been talking about the possibility of Barack Obama running in the next presidential election. I have seen several newspaper articles that have discussed this very issue. While I do feel that Obama is a good politician and stands for many issues that I strongly suppport, I would not support any attempt on his part to run for preident.
In my opinion, Obama could be a great president and I would love for him to be the first black president. On the other hand, he is not ready for a responsibity of that size. He was only elected to the Senate for the first time two years ago. He does not have the political experience necessary to run a succesful national campaign. In addition, this country does not know enough about Barack Obama for him to gain a strong following. He has yet to make a very strong name for himself in Washington, though he definately will.
As for in the future, I would support him in the election of 2012, although I believe that a Democrat will win in ‘08 meaning that Barack would need to wait until ‘16. As much as I wish that Obama could be the next president, I do not think that it is feasible at this time and I hope for the sake of the Democratic Party that he does not try to run.
From the brilliant mind of Mike Kean, your friendly Sargeant at Arms.
Minutes from 10/19/06
Members present:? Nicole W, Jessica E, Eric P, Shamara G, Marcella N, Cristina L, Matt H.
I am sorry that I am so late with this one but it must be commented on.? A few days ago on ABC news President Bush had the nerve to blatantly to the American people in an attempt to save face.? When questioned about his policy he said and I quote, “We’ve ever been stay the course, George.”? I want to give everyone a second to let those words sink in a little bit.?
We have never been stay the course.? It would not be so amusing if we did not have countless TV clips of President Bush saying that very phrase, “stay the? course,” over and over again.? If you do not believe me view this? YouTube clip.?
What is the President doing?? He could have atleast hidden the lie in a long sentence of? complicated babble like he does the rest of the time.? Oh wait, he was talking in a live interview so he did not have anyone else to write that lie out for him, andwe all know that he? does not have the intelligence necessary to do such a thing.? I think that the American people just need to remember this interview because? I garrauntee that it will not be long? before the President is on TV saying those? very words again and then we can all just? sit and laugh and wonder to ourselves,? how did this idiot and liar? get elected to the highest position in American government.
From the? brilliant mind of Mike Kean, your friendly Sargeant at Arms. ? ? ? ?
What have we done?? Two days ago, President Bush signed into law the Military Commissions Act.? This? law is so blatantly unconstitutional and violates so many of? the priciples? of American freedom that? I must ask, “What have we done?”
This law will allow the President to detain any person the he deems an “enemy combatant” without? telling that person what they are being held for (It suspends the writ of habeus corpus for any? person that the president deems an? “enemy combatant”).? ? It? also allows? these? detainees to be tried? by a presidentially appointed military tribunal in? a trial in which? here say evidence and evidence gained through? torture may be used.?
I ask you this.? What will stop President Bush or any president that? follows? him from labeling you an enemy combatant and arresting you?? Who? cares that you are an? American citizen.? You will be unable to prove your citizenship without a? trial and? you will not be able to receive a trial because the president has labeled you an “enemy combatant”.?
How did? this happen, you may ask.? This has happened because the? terrorists have won.? ? The? American people have allowed the? terrorists to win by sacrificing our freedom? for our own “safety”.? In? common words, we are terrified (note the similarity to the word terrorist).? ? Keith Olberman of MSNBC says it best when he calls the current government “? A government more dangerous to our liberty, than is the enemy it claims to protect us from.”? We have all sat around and watched? as our? own government? has become more dangerous to the American people than the terrorists.? ? View Olberman’s commentary on the Military? Commissions Act?
In closing I ask this, “What are we going to do to show the president that we do not want him to have this power?”? We must do something and we must do it soon because with the signing of this law, we have reached a true low point in American history.
From the brilliant mind of Mike Kean, your friendly Sargeant at Arms.?